Fourteen Months of Exclusive Pumping

Because of the tongue tie, nursing was never an option for us. So I pumped. For almost fourteen months, every bottle our baby drank came from a pump, and this is the honest story of how that went.

The part nobody prepares you for

For the first couple of months I used a plug-in pump. It kept me in one chair, in one posture, long enough that my back started hurting. And it kept me in another room. I would sit there alone, pumping, missing my baby, thinking about my baby, feeling guilty that I could not provide the way people have been doing forever.

Even watching someone else feed my own milk to my own baby carried a strange guilt at first. It sounds like it should not. But your hormones make you so emotional in those weeks that it is hard to explain what you feel. What I can tell you is that it passes. You get over it, and the milk in that bottle is still yours.

One of us

We had family with us for the first five or six months, and that made exclusive pumping work like a relay. I pumped, and whoever was there fed the baby. My husband, our parents, family. One of us. Looking back, that relay is something I am proud of, and it is also the honest answer to the guilt. The baby was fed, held, and loved the entire time.

The wearable pump changed everything

Around the two month mark I switched to a wearable pump, and it was the life saver of this whole story. I could move around. I could do chores. Most importantly, I could stay with my baby instead of pumping alone in a room away from them.

One thing I learned about the plug-in pump along the way. It supports pumping both breasts at once, but the power drops when you use both. For me it turned out more efficient to pump one at a time, holding the bottle with one hand and squeezing gently with the other. Others might have a different experience. And flange size matters here the same way it does anywhere. Too big causes pain and pulls skin that is not meant to stretch. Too small does not empty the breast properly. Comfort and efficiency both live in getting the size right.

What pumping gave back

Pumping has its own quiet benefits. You know exactly how much your baby is taking in. You know the baby is full and content, and so are you. Providing breastmilk is in itself a huge accomplishment, so do not compare it to skin to skin. What matters is that the baby is having mother's milk. And for those who struggle to produce milk or face other problems, milk banks exist too. I only know of them, I never used one. My own path was some supply of my own, topped up with formula.

A taste note from experience. As the baby grows, they can tell the difference. If you feed breastmilk first, run short, and immediately offer formula, the baby might refuse it. Formula is not as tasty. Breastmilk is sweeter. That does not mean you should add sugar. We gave no sugar and no salt for the entire first year.

The washing problem, solved by the fridge

In the beginning I washed the pump parts and bottles after every single session, and that was a lot of work on top of everything else. Then someone on the internet suggested the trick that saved me. Put the used pump parts in a zip bag and keep the bag in the fridge between sessions. Use them through the day, then wash properly once a day, or sooner or later, whatever works for you. Even the machines that sterilize and dry still take time and effort to load, so once a day felt reasonable. This one change gave me back hours.

Leaving the house, and travelling

Pumping before leaving the house became automatic, like going to the washroom before heading out. Even if I had pumped an hour earlier, I would still empty before we left, and I always carried one sterilized pump set with me.

For longer trips we preferred places with at least a small kitchenette, so we could boil water and sterilize bottles, nipples, and pump parts properly. There are special microwave steam bags for sterilizing, and they sound clever, but they never worked for us. Pump parts are big, and the microwaves in rentals and hotel rooms are small, so it would have taken round after round. Boiling water was simpler every time.

Oversupply, the trap I read about and brushed against

Undersupply gets all the attention, but from everything I read in books and online, oversupply is the bigger problem. Here is the trap. Supply works on demand. If you keep working on increasing it and keep emptying fully every single time, the body reads that as demand and makes even more. Clumps start forming, you empty more to clear them, and supply climbs again. It feeds itself.

My own supply never went way too far. It ran high mostly when we went back home for a stretch, where the weather was hot. But the clumps did come a few times, and clearing them became a routine I knew well. A warm bath. Combing the breast gently with a wide tooth comb in the shower. A hot compress. Pumping while squeezing that spot a little. The correct flange size helped too, and I also went to a lactation consultant. I would tell anyone dealing with this to do the same rather than fighting it alone.

Bringing supply down worked exactly opposite to bringing it up. I reduced the number of sessions and the pumping time, and I stopped emptying the breasts fully every time. A breast left a little full signals the body to make less. I did not stop eating any of the supply foods. The schedule did the work.

Small things I want you to know

For cuts and rashes on the skin, the first and easiest thing to try is your own breastmilk on the affected area. It worked best for me. While feeding, keep the baby awake by tickling a leg or a hand, talking, touching a cheek. Otherwise they fall asleep mid feed. And a fully breastmilk fed baby might not poop for days. Ours once went five days, and gaps of three or four days were normal for us. Good old days. If a gap ever worries you, ask your provider rather than the internet.

Winding down

The wind down was gradual. In the second to last month I was down to three or four sessions a day. In the last month, two or three, and eventually just one. I knew it was time because the baby was eating enough solid food and I wanted to cut down on milk anyway. The extra milk went into the stash for later.

The last session felt like the end of an era. Mostly, I was happy. I was able to provide for my baby for fourteen months, and that is how I will always remember it.

And if you are on day three of exclusive pumping, wondering whether you can do this. Hang in there, mama. You got this.